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Sneak Preview /Chapter 4/"My life as a testimony"

When I was 25 years old, I was married to my first husband who was ten years older. I thought he was the best thing since pockets. He courted me for six months before I dated him. We dated over a year before we got married and I thought I knew him. He was probably the biggest drug dealer in my state, but I did not know it until later.

Since my husband spent so much time away from home, I decided to venture out. He became insanely jealous thinking I was doing what he was, that is cheating. When I came home, he would already be in the house waiting for me and as soon as I come in, he would punch me in the face, bloodying my nose. I changed the locks. Then, he would hide in the bushes and jump out as I approach the door and start beating me. I ran and he caught me, dragging me, three blocks back to the house, still beating me. As I tried to run, I screamed and knocked on several neighbors’ doors for help, but no one would help me, as they did not want to get involved.

My face was covered in blood, my body was badly scuffed, and my clothes were torn from my body. When he got me home, he continued to punch me in the face and I was knocked unconscious.

When I came to, he dropped me off at the hospital. I had a broken ankle, a broken thumb, black eyes, and scrapes and bruises all over my body. There was a counselor and a police officer present. The counselor advised me to leave my husband, as the beatings would not stop and the police officer advised me not to press charges, as women usually go back to their abusive men. I did both! I tried to leave him without pressing charges.

It did not matter where I went, to my mother’s, grandmother’s, aunt’s or friend’s houses or the kids’ school, he always knew where to find me. I got tired of running and dragging my children here and there so I decided to go back and just give in to him to keep the peace.

The beatings continued, so I would not let him back in the house. This time, he kicked in the door and strangled me unconscious. When I came to, I ran out of the house to a nearby payphone and called the police. He and the police arrived at the same time and I was very emotional. I was crying so hard I could hardly talk, but the police were patient.

When I told them what happened, my husband assured them I was exaggerating and they believed him. They instructed me to go home with my husband or be arrested. I yelled at them, "NO! He is going to kill me!" My husband played the innocent role and the police fell for it, threatening to arrest me for peace disturbance. I asked the police repeatedly to come to my home and see that he kicked in my door. They finally agreed after my asking them several times. The police told me if I am lying, they are locking me up. When they got to my home, sure enough, there lay the door.

They arrested him and the next day, I tried to press charges, but I was told they could not keep him. The beatings continued! Each time he would beat me, I would call the police and he would come back and beat me more if he was arrested. They never held him past twenty hours and each time I tried to press charges, I was told they could not keep him.

It was at this point, my back was against the wall. I had no help from the law and I had to either do or die. Since I chose to live, my survival instincts had to kick in, so I bought a gun. I kept the gun beside my bed fully loaded, safety off. I instructed my children not to touch the gun. I had a drill with my children so they will know that if he came back, they should run out the front door, go to a neighbor’s house, ask them to call the police, and stay there until I come for them.

He came back that night and the drill was set into motion. God was with me or I would have been in jail for murder because, the police came just in time when I was going to kill him. I was so consumed by fear and wanting to be free from the abuse that I urinated on myself while shooting the gun at him. The police drew their guns on me and demanded I put my gun down. I cooperated and they took me to jail...

© 2006

 

About the Book

This book contains the most intimate feelings, envisions, and thoughts of me as a black woman and of the way I see the world, today. Some are negative; whereas, some are positive. All are how I perceive the world to be, through my experiences and some, through my interpretation of what is expected of me, as a Christian.

Keep in my mind that this is not to demean people, but to share my life’s experiences. I am guilty of some of the things discussed in this piece and upon knowing that, I feel compelled to share some of my most unimaginable experiences with you. Although some of its content may seem graphic, unbelievable, and controversial, I feel blessed that I have had the opportunity to witness or experience such instances as they have helped to make me a better person. I have come a long way from the person I used to be, but I still have a long way to go.

As I struggle to continue to exist in this sometimes cruel and harsh world and I pray that no one else will have to experience what I have. I also pray for those who have seen worse.

So out of all fairness, I want to start this book on my personal being so as to not promote the thought that I am proclaiming to be self righteous or a messenger of God and criticizing others in their profession. I have had many joyous occasions; however, I feel I have experienced and witnessed enough in my life to share them with you. Through sharing my experiences, I am in hopes of gaining something positive, for instance or to name a few: encouragement, compassion, and a stronger faith in God.

I might be a lowly commoner to some and have been a pillar of strength to others. I say this because, it doesn’t matter where you come from, who you are, what race, gender, religion, sexual preference, how much or less education you have, or even how much riches you have, we all still have something in common and moreover, something to offer.

This is what has happened in my life...

© 2006

 

SNEAK PEEK OF BOOK TO COME ("Nightmares From Beyond")

 

“Richard”

Ellen is a 52 year old grandmother who has custody of her 11 year old grandson, Richard. The two live a happy, healthy life in their big house, as they share a strong bond. They are a devout family and are an asset to their community.

Ellen is the choir director and a missionary at their church, while Richard is on the school’s baseball team, in the church choir, and always help their neighbors by carrying home groceries, cutting grass, and running small errands. Richard is a lively young man who enjoys life and everything in it.

One unusual night, as Richard laid in his bed to sleep, he felt an awkwardness about him. He tossed and turned until he was able to fall asleep. The following morning, when he awoke, he sat down to have breakfast with his grandmother. Ellen sensed something was not right with Richard, so she asked him, “what’s the matter, son?” Richard replied, “grandma, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned all night and now I am tired.” Ellen informed Richard that he did not have to do his chores when he comes home from school, that he could use that time to rest.

As Richard left for school, he was not him self. It appears the restless night had taken a toll on him. He slowly boarded the school bus in a quiet fashion instead of the excited, talkative manner, as he had always done.

While at school, his teacher, Mrs. Grimes noticed something abnormal about him and asked was he feeling alright. Although, Richard indicated he was fine, he continued to be withdrawn.

Later that night, Richard’s feeling of awkwardness became more extreme. It was like a bad itch that he could not scratch. He went into Ellen’s bedroom to ask, “grandma I can’t sleep again. Can I sleep with you tonight?” Ellen replied, “Richard you are a big boy, now. Try counting sheep!” Then, Ellen rolled over to continue her rest.

When Richard returned to his room, he felt that same awkwardness. As he hesitantly entered his room, he pondered why he felt this way. As he approached his bed, he had a panic attack and fell to the floor. Ellen heard the loud thump and came running to see what caused it. The fall was so hard that it caused bruising to his back. She saw Richard on the floor gasping for breath! She ran to him and demanded that he follow her breathing, as she took slow breaths. She grabbed the phone and called for help! At the same time, she was attempting to help Richard to control his breathing.

Help arrived in a matter of minutes. The paramedic checked Richard thoroughly and suggested he get some rest. The scare caused Ellen to allow Richard to sleep with her. She held him until he fell asleep.

The next day, the incidence caused Richard to be even more absorbed. Ellen became so worried for him that she took him to see Dr. Baker. When Richard undressed, Ellen saw bruises on his back and gasped. She frantically asked Richard what happened. Just then, Dr. Baker came in to examine him. He saw the bruises on Richard’s back and he, too asked Richard how did it happen. It was at this time, Richard informed them both that he had fallen. Ellen felt awful because she wasn’t there to shield him from a fall that caused bruising.

When the doctor completed his examination, he evaluated that Richard was under stress. He had given Ellen medication to help Richard relax.

Ellen thought, how can this be. He is only a child. Ellen took Richard home and gave him his medicine. Before he fell asleep, Richard asked Ellen to stay with him. She sat next to him all night, as he slept.

When daylight was throughout the house, Ellen woke and stood to stretch. She checked on Richard to see if he was alright. When she raised the covers, she saw blood on his sheets. He had lacerations all over his body! She screamed loudly in fear and surprise. As a result, woke Richard. Sobbing, she asked Richard, “what did you do to yourself?” Richard looked down to see he was slashed and his sheets were soiled with his blood. He too, started screaming.

Ellen called for help, again. When help arrived, they could not make sense of it, as Richard said he did not know what happened and Ellen concurred with his statement. The paramedics was so appalled by his injuries that they alerted the police.

Distrust was beginning to emerge, as they silently blamed each other. Simultaneously, they both thought, who else could it have been? There was no one else here but us.

When they arrived at the hospital, Dr. Baker was there waiting. When he examined Richard, again he saw that Richard needed a total of 50 stitches in various parts of his body and was badly swollen with bruising. All of the medical staff who aided Richard were in an uproar. They asked Richard a countless number of questions in an attmept to find out what happened. All Richard could tell them was, “I was asleep and my grandma stayed with me in my room.”

Thinking back at the bruises he had witnessed on the boy’s back, Dr. Baker was starting to suspect that Ellen is abusing Richard. He had a private meeting with Ellen, as he wanted to give her the opportunity to explain, as he took into consideration the community’s high regard for her.

The investigating officer came in to inform Dr. Baker, that he had taken the liberty to do a background check on Ellen and it appears she has a history of mental illness which causes violent episodes and she will block them out, mentally. She was released from the mental institution 15 years ago.“ The good doctor sighed in disappointment. The officer informed Dr. Baker he will have to take Ellen in for questioning.

Upon arrival at the station, Ellen panicked as she did not know what to expect. The officer questioned her about Richard’s injuries. She cooperated with the police, as she was concerned for her grandson.

The officer had a psychiatrist to come in to give Ellen a psyche evaluation. This psychiatrist treated Ellen previously for her mental condition and remembered her profile. They thought that she committed this crime and did not remember.

The officer decided to keep Ellen in custody until the matter was investigated. Richard, on the other hand would remain in state’s custody until the investigation was complete.

While in the hospital, Richard was alone and frightened without Ellen. Although, it was said she was hurting him, he missed her and did not want to be away from her.

Richard’s nurse came in to give him some medicine to help him relax. The nurse tucked him snuggly in bed and turned off the lights. As Richard laid there trying to sleep, visions on of what happened to him played in his mind. This caused him to feel uneasy all over again.

Hours later, the nurse came back to do her routine check on Richard. See saw that Richard had a sheet tied tightly around his neck, as he wheezed for air. She dropped her medicine tray and screamed. The medical staff came pouring into Richard’s room to see what made the nurse scream.

Their eyes were widened and mouths were open, as they rushed in surprisingly witnessing the young man strangling. They quickly untied him and called security, who then called the police.

The investigating officer came to the scene, only to suspect that Richard is abusing himself. He asked, “Son, what happened?” Richard replied, “I don’t know!” The officer contacted Dr Baker to inform him of the occurrence. Dr. Baker agreed that all along it was Richard hurting himself and started the process to have him committed. Dr Baker requested that Ellen be released since they now know Richard is the culprit.

When Ellen was released, she rushed to the hospital to be by Richard’s side. Dr. Baker informed her the mishap has caused Richard to be committed. Ellen cried, as she felt Richard has the same illness as herself.

Upon being delivered to the mental institution, Richard kicked, scream, and fought to prevent from going into the institution, but it did not help. Ellen was there to console him. He became depressed due to his surroundings. He would not eat, could not sleep, and would not bathe. His behavior only strengthened everyone’s thought that he needed serious help.

The following week after his arrival, he started to compose himself. However, he would still have sleepless nights, as before. He woke one morning with more bruises and cuts. When Ellen came to see him, she asked him, “Why are you doing this to yourself, baby?” Richard replied, “Doing what?” Ellen said, “you don’t remember do you? Just like me! Don’t worry we will get through this together!”

Richard exclaimed, “Grandma, something is happening to me that I don’t understand! Its not me, grandma! Its not me!” Richard wept uncontrollably, as Ellen held him.

Something about the way Richard said that, that caused Ellen to believe him.

Ellen asked Richard to tell her everything. He did. Afterwards, she was afraid for his safety.

When Richard was released from the hospital, they set up Richard’s bedroom in another room to give him a new beginning. He felt more comfortable with his new bedroom and decided to nap.

Moments later, a loud noise rang from his bedroom and Ellen came in to see what was going on. Richard was levitated into thin air. As he struggled to get lose, Ellen attempted to help him. An unseen force pushed her away so hard, that she was lifted off her feet and hit her head against the wall. She had a deep laceration on her forehead and was bleeding badly. The entire house started to tremble. Ellen regained herself and started to recite protection prayers from the bible, as blood poured down her face.

When she completed the scripture, she quickly untied Richard and they both ran out of the house. Suddenly, everything settled. The officer who questioned Ellen was approaching and witnessed some of the calamity. He saw whips on Richard’s body from when he was lifted up and took him into custody.

Reverend Blue came to visit Richard, as he heard of the mishap. When Richard explained to him and the Doctor what had happened, both the Reverend and the doctor decided to talk with Ellen, as the whole ordeal seemed strange. Ellen told them her account on what happened and they decided to help them.

The doctor and the Reverend went to the police station to talk with the investigating officer whom was sure that Richard committed the crime, as to him, Richard has an existing mental condition and needed to be stopped before someone else gets hurt.

The Reverend explained that Richard’s testimony is the same as Ellen’s and that they should do an investigation before accusing anyone. They believed something else has happened and did not want to see Ellen or Richard suffer for it.

The officer felt that in a case of family abuse, the victim is often protective over their abuser. While they are being abused, they still have love for their abuser and do not want to see anything happen to them.

Whilst they were in a dispute with the officer, Richard was sitting in the corrider waiting. In a matter of minutes, there was a thunderous sound and then a cry for help! When they arrived at the corridor where Richard sat, they saw that Richard had blood on his shirt. When they opened his shirt, they saw a carving of the crucifixion turned upside down on his chest. Reverend Blue immediately started to pray! Dr. Baker was in disbelief, while the officer turned his suspicions towards Richard. The three took Richard to the hospital, as they argued what they witnessed.

Ellen was there in a frenzy over what happened to her grandson. She knew what was happening to her grandson was of a spiritual matter, but who would belive her? It did not matter who knew what, there were skeptics that will still make it a medical situation, thus, ruling out the possibility that it could be a spiritual circumstance.

The situation caused Ellen to be stricken with grief. She went to talk with a renowned reporter in her area to bring to light this mind-boggling situation. The reporter, Janice Dupree thought Ellen to be a lonely, old lady searching for attention, however, she did a little investigating, as this could be the story of her life, if it is true.

Janice visited the home of Ellen and Richard and when she entered the premises, a sense of eeriness fell upon her. She wandered about the house searching for clues. When she entered the room where Richard slept, she felt a strong force was present and she started to asphyxiate which caused her to become nausea. She ran out of the house for relief. Ellen ran behind her asking if she was alright. Janice replied with fear while staring at the house, “Yes, I am fine! Ellen, I will be in touch with you!” Then Janice got into her car and hurriedly drove off.

Janice interviewed Dr. Baker and Reverend Blue who collaborated with Ellen’s story. When she got to the police station to talk with the arresting officer, he could not believe that Janice is wasting her time on such non-sense and indicated such. Janice informed him of what happened to her while visitng the home. The officer thought that Janice was feeding into the non-sense that it made her susceptible to believing anything. As he closed the conversation, Janice informed him she will be covering the story.

Janice’s final interview will be done with Richard. When she arrived at the institution where Richard was kept, she stood outside looking up at the building, as she was hesitating out of fear. When she finally got the nerve, she advanced toward the building to enter. Just then, the building exploded! The entire building was engulfed in flames.

When the firefighters came to douse the fire, everything was burned and the fire was already out. All that was left of the building and the people who were in it was a photo of Richard. This photo had not been damaged at all and was of Richard sleeping peacefully, in an angelic position.

Meanwhile, Ellen was at home cleaning! All of a sudden her front door opened and the wind blew into her home. She stood there motionless, as she felt a gentle kiss upon her face. She heard Richard’s voice whispering to her saying, “Grandma, I am at peace now, and I will stay here to watch over you!”

Ellen knew her grandson was dead, as she fell to the floor weeping. Moments later, Reverend Blue and Dr. Baker came to inform Ellen about the disaster. It was to their surprise that she already knew. Since the occurrence took place thirty minutes ago, they asked her how did she find out so quickly and she replied, “Richard told me twenty-five minutes ago!” Although they were puzzled, they believed her as they were convinced the situation was a spiritual one. They continued to tell Ellen that the fire department was unable to make a determination on what caused the explosion. Ellen, knew the entity that tormented her grandson was responsible, as the entity did not want it to be known, not to mention, proven that it exists.

Just then, they heard Richard’s favorite song playing loudly in his room. They cautiously went to investigate. That is when they saw Richard’s image mysteriously imprinted on his bedroom wall, as a reminder to Ellen that he is there, watching.

Reverend Blue immediately went into prayer, while the others were too shaken to move. After gathering herself, Ellen confessed that she received a visit from Richard and he informed her that he will be there to watch over her. She gave a half smile, as she was content with knowing Richard was still with her, in spiritual form watching and waiting to be with her again.

Janice reported what she knew of the incident. Although hardly no one was convinced, she is now in pursuit of spiritual stories, as it inspired her.

The End!

© 2007

Illustration: At the movies

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